This is Not Going to End Well, Part I

This is Not Going to End Well, Part I

A recent conversation with my friend Lee Cohee led to this post. The military term, at least in the Astronaut Corps, for what I am about to write is to...”screw the pooch.” It seems a strange saying for something that means basically auguring a plane into the ground with your tender pink body still in it, for whatever reason. But before I get to my own near disaster, some (long) prelude is needed.

My last post talked a bit about living near the Cape during the exciting days of the Space program. The interest caused many things, even in those pre-internet days, to “go viral,” including terminology, some of which remains in everyday speech to this day. For example...the term “A-OK,” meaning that things are going not only well, but better than well...came from an exclamation during either the flight or the pre-launch activities of one of the early manned missions. And, of course, “Houston, we have a problem,” from the best disaster success NASA ever had by safely bringing back the Apollo 13 crew, is a common term for indicating a problem with almost anything.

But, in Florida, there was another rather weird linguistic pattern which started within the manned space engineering team but somehow, perhaps through their children, filtered down even to my high school classmates and me in Miami...the insertion of archaic medieval  terms into modern speech. So, for example, “Yay, verily” got attached before you said many things, or “forsooth” (and sometimes even “fivesooth”) was interjected into speech. Thus one of the engineers who was instrumental in making some of the risky calls on Apollo 13 was talked about by saying “Yay, verily, John Aarons is a steely-eyed missile man...” the highest form of compliment a Cape engineer could get. And of course the correct reply included “Forsooth and yay verily indeed!” Think of that running around Miami Norland High School in 1963 compared to what you are likely to hear on a high school campus today.

Although I did not totally “screw the pooch” I came close enough to be quite sobered by the experience. But I have to back into this gently, even if the event itself was anything but.

When I got into vintage racing I jumped in with both feet. I had never really wanted to build a car...I only wanted to race one. So I had more pent up enthusiasm than talent, and for the first couple of years ran any race I could. In addition to CSRG, which had been around for more than a decade, and HMSA, which had started with Steve Earle and the Monterey Historics in the early 70s, there were other organizations, but the only one running my local tracks (Sears and Laguna) was an attempt by the San Francisco Chronicle's automobile writer...which folded after a few events. But I still managed five or more events in each of my first couple of years.

Remember that this was with an engine I had built myself...and it was pretty much stock. I was to learn something very important and interesting about this unit some 40 years later, so I'm glad I didn't destroy it, but you should also know that when I say stock...a stock Crosley ripped out all of about 25 HP. So the fact that I never once finished dead last with this lump means I must have learned something good about performance driving over the years and with my on track days in the Ferrari Owners Club.

I had become one of the first 15 members of what is now the largest region of the Crosley Club. The Western Region was started by a fellow “car guy” and vintage racer David Brodsky. I think I might have been invited to join before we bought the Crosley wagon for my stepson Jason. Dave's racer was a one-off car called the “Edwards/Blume Special” after the builder(s). It used mainly English Morris Minor running gear, but had the advanced, for its era, Crosley single overhead camshaft engine. 

Edwards/Blume Special
I know I'm being lazy
This is from Sportscardigebst.com
I have photos of my own...if I could find them!

The Crosley motor was quite popular in the early 50s. While the stock unit was mildly tuned for around 23hp, it could easily be hopped up to turn 40 or more...and half a century later our restored racers can get 55+ out of it with good reliability. They were also cheap and readily available. In a future post I'll provide some more information about what made this engine desirable for racing. But the important thing here is that my 300BC Siata model was specifically designed to use this motor, though many other units were also used (yet another discussion for another time). It was also used by Nardi, Bandini, and in many other limited production or one-off racing specials. And in the Bay Area, in addition to Ernie Mendiki, there were other Crosley experts like Dodge Reidy, Jarl and John deBoer, and Bob Graham, whom the club had dubbed “The Crosley Doctor.”

Bob owned a shop in the South Bay called “Old Country Motors,” and was as crusty and intimidating in appearance and temper as a grizzly, which he somewhat resembled. He also owned a blue Siata 300BC which, during those long months of me trying to put mine together, was the dream I looked at wistfully as often as possible, wondering if my car would ever look as good.

Bob's was an interesting car. He had bought it from “Cars for the Stars” in LA...the name accurately portrays their business...supplying specific cars of any era and type, either from their own inventory or through contract retainers with their clients, for movies and television.

At first it was thought that ST420 was the car that George Huntoon had driven to victory at Vero Beach in 1952. Even after that turned out to not hold up under investigation, it continued to be believed that it was used, and crashed, in the apocalyptic movie “On the Beach.” This too was not correct.

Despite these errors of research it was, nonetheless, a famous and landmark car. There were two racers in Southern California in the early 50s with the same last name. Though they knew each other they were not related. One of Ernie McAfee's various hats was as the West Coast distributor for Siata. His death in the Pebble Beach road race through the Del Monet forest was the catalyst both for ending that dangerous venue and the impetus for the creation of a permanent road course at Laguna Seca.

Jack McAfee was not as well known but was an active and successful racer as well. One of the cars he campaigned was a blue Siata 300BC with a 1500cc Fiat motor that ran at Torrey Pines...there are pictures of this all over the place in various books and web sites. I have lost track of the exact situation but many years after Graham died Gary W and I were contacted by Jack's son Rex. He had found a famous motor which had been in his father's Siata...created specifically for oval track use it was known as the “Barker Midget” motor, also well documented in various magazine articles. Rex was looking for help in finding his dad's car, and it appeared that Bob's car might be “it.” I suspect that this was the same car that McAfee ran with the Fiat unit but don't recall if that was confirmed or not.

John deBoer and his dad are arguably the most knowledgable experts on Siata, and virtually all other rare Italian cars, in the world. An e mail conversation quickly developed between John, Gary, Rex, and me, resulting in a visit (unfortunately I was unavailable) to examine the car, at the time owned by a collector named Dennis Varney, and stored in San Jose. After crawling all over it and looking at various fittings and welds where things had either been added or cut off to put in Crosley power, John agreed that this most likely was indeed the ex-McAfee Siata.

Unfortunately Dennis had made some “upgrades' to that car that were neither needed nor visually pleasing. Hard cornering in early cars like these results in a lot of body lean, and the modern tires available for the car can rub on the fenders, particularly since many of the cars, including mine, have also had the body lowered from its original height. Dennis "solved" the problem by having the wheel arches cut higher. I'll detail how I solved it with less drastic measures in Part II of this blog issue, as otherwise this will be an excessively long post. Oh...I guess I just gave away the fact that there will be a Part II, didn't I? Oh well...

Dennis had also decided on seat back and cushion upholstery which was...unusual. The cars came with tan interiors made from ”hydes” of that mythical beast the “nauga.” Instead, Dennis decide to use cloth with a houndstooth pattern...jarring to say the least. The car was later treated far more cruelly when the subsequent owner modified it to use a Nissan five speed transmission instead of the Siata/Fiat original. I would dearly love to know what happened to that transmission and hope it did not wind up being scrapped. When I do a detailed post on my car it will explain how unique and important these original units are.

Anyway, back to Bob Graham. While I had been able to build an engine which, to my joy and surprise, actually did run, I had no clue how to make it develop enough power to be credible as a race unit in the class as judged by mid 1980s standards. As I said, it was pretty much stock, meaning all of 25 tiny horses. But Bob was at every race with his own Siata and, unknown to me, was watching me closely.

So at the end of some race in my first year or two I worked up my nerve and asked to talk to him. Bob had at one time been a SnapOn tool salesman which meant buying his own truck, which he was then using as a half-assed camper when he left SnapOn and opened his shop. While he did sleep in it this was by throwing a sleeping bag on the floor. Other than the driver's seat the only other device on which he could park himself was what we used to call a “milk crate.” Really top drawer.

Bob was leaning on the slanted front end of the truck, and while it was more likely one of the cigarettes which eventually killed him, I swear in my mental picture of him he had a long blade of grass dangling from his curled lip. I timidly explained my plight and asked for his help. I will never forget what he said, as he laughed.

“I was wondering when you would work up the nerve to talk to me. Five different guys had their hands on that car and didn't put it together. You come from a white collar, professional world but didn't hesitate to get your hands dirty and did it. I respect that. Of course I'll help you.”

And then the fun began...yet again