So Why the Bird?

You have, no doubt, noticed that my profile picture is obviously not me, though I might be skinny and do have legs somewhat like the guy in the picture. So why that picture?

I am decidedly not an expert on native American culture, but it is my understanding that there is, among many tribes, a process for male youths of finding their “totem” animal...an animal who somehow “chooses” the youth and is his spirit brother in some sense. As I said, I'm no expert in this, but you might already guess where this narrative is heading. 

I grew up in South Florida, but until I was in college I was almost totally oblivious to the richness of the natural world which surrounded me. I guess I might have noted that there were some really big birds around, and of course I was aware that most of the wildlife either bit your with teeth and jaws large enough to rip you apart, or, at whatever size, injected you with poisons that at a minimum were very painful or, at worst, could be fatal. I was always amazed that the residents of a nest of fire ants you might have stepped on unknowingly could somehow all crawl undetected along your leg from your ankle to your crotch and then, on some signal, all chomp down at once, leaving you dancing around and swatting at yourself like St. Vitus!

I was always an “odd man out” as a kid...I guess maybe I still am. By high school I realized that there weren't many people who wanted to be around me...and most of those who did were girls. Unfortunately that was not an opportunity for me as my physical characteristics, intellectual strength, and caustic humor combined with an inability to read any sort of “signals” left me with many female “friends” but not many chances for romance.

As for male friends? Not macho, awkward at sports, and smarter than 90% of the guys, so you can guess there was not much connection there. I was not totally a loner, but sure had a feeling there was something “wrong” with me. 

Greynolds Park in North Miami became a refuge of sorts for me in High School. There are trails through a forest of what I think are Virginia Pines, covered in soft blankets of needles. The trail in particular I have in mind paralleled an inlet of a lake or lagoon which anchored the park.

There was an island in that lagoon which had become a huge rookery for multiple species of water birds I later came to appreciate as an amazing and beautiful part of what I think of as “the Real Florida.” The rookery was mainly claimed by a raucous group of American Egrets, but the park also hosted a variety of other egrets and herons. By the time I was a college student I had come to be able to identify, observe, and be mesmerized by Florida wildlife, and on any visits back after I moved west I always tried to work in a canoe trip on some glorious “black water” river with my sister and her husband.

But on this particular walk in Greynolds I was on the trail I noted above, just sort of quietly walking with my head down. I am not aware of any thoughts which were bothering me, but I'm sure there was some tension or another from which I was seeking respite by breathing in a bit of nature.

And then it happened. I somehow startled one of the birds, even though it flew from behind me and I did not see it coming. As it passed its right wing brushed my head. I don't recall being especially startled, but I was certainly impressed, as the wing...and the bird to which it was attached, seemed huge. Yet the touch was soft, and almost ephemeral. All I was aware of was wingspan of several feet, a dusky blue-grey color, and long legs streaming out behind and under it. 

I had no idea at the time what it was.

Fast forward to whenever it was that I “discovered” what had been around me all the time...the subtle but incredible beauty of Florida and its wildlife, most especially its birds. I got into “bird watching” because so many of them were four feet tall and pretty easy to identify. And one of the most magnificent is the Great Blue Heron. These birds can be found quite literally over a vast part of the world, but Florida is home to hundreds if not thousands of them, along with many other exotic avian species.

It did not take much to realize that the bird who had somehow physically contacted me when I was 16 or so was a Great Blue. 

I'm not a believer in myths of any kind, religious or otherwise. But I do respect those who have such beliefs, as long as they don't spill over into negative energy towards others who do not share them. So the fact that this bird actually had touched my head would, I think, qualify as a clear sign that the Great Blue Heron had chosen me to be a spirit brother. And maybe, just maybe, through flipped race cars, changed flight arrangements which saved my life on 9/11, and all the medical potential disasters I have lived through, that spirit really has been with me to protect me. Certainly I am not about to question, and am perfectly willing to accept respectfully.

Stately and Beautiful
And Always Watchful